#4 Telling People What They’re Doing After Graduation

Inevitably, as the spring semester draws to a close, graduating seminarians who’ve secured jobs and doctoral fellowships can’t help but share this news with everyone they know.  You see, Princeton seminarians love telling people what they’re doing after graduation. It’s not enough for them to share their joyous news with their close friends and family, rather it’s only when the whole campus knows, that they begin feeling good about their future as well.  Even if Princeton seminarians secure jobs in the fall semester, you can be certain they’ll bring it up whenever another seminarian talks about the future.

You see, by telling people what their plans are, Princeton seminarians feel better about themselves, especially because many of their classmates who are graduating still haven’t secured jobs or admittance to graduate school programs.  By sharing their future plans with these anxious students, Princeton seminarians are able to project an air of success and confidence.  Additionally, by sharing their plans they’re also subtly communicating: “It’s not my fault that no one has hired you… it’s yours” and “Maybe you should have studied more and screwed around less.”  Sometimes when Princeton seminarians announce their news, it’s almost as if they’re saying, “I always knew I was smarter than you and now everyone else knows it as well” or everyone’s favorite, “You really sucked at preaching, the professor was just too kind to tell you.”  Instead of saying these horrible comments out loud, Princeton seminarians can simply say, “Hey, guess what! I got the job!”

It’s worth knowing that Princeton seminarians will probably tell you about their plans more than once, and even if you tell them you already know, they’ll just find new ways to talk about it.  Comments about moving, looking for houses, buying houses, and their estimated date of departure are among the most common methods for sneaking it into casual conversation.  Unfortunately, this sort of behavior usually goes on until the day a moving truck carts their stuff to their newfound home or apartment.  Even then the fun just doesn’t stop because you’ll still have to hear about what’s going on in their new lives, as Princeton seminarians also love starting new blogs in order to share with everyone what’s “going on.”  And if you think you can just avoid the site, know that they’ll probably send you emails whenever they put up a new post.